**Note to the reader**
I am NOT comparing Headaches to Migraines in this post.
Migraines are a completely different animal and have no relation to the Headache I am talking about.
Headaches can be caused by so many things. Tension. Blood pressure. Environmental allergies. Hormone imbalance. Alcohol. Diet. Sleep, or the lack there of. Posture. Having been injured. Flashing lights. Caffeine, or the lack there of. Medications. The list goes on and on.
I'm going to be talking about the most hateful and insidious type of headache - the Sinus Headache.
Most people who know me know that I am plagued with annoying sinus issues. I have had multiple allergy tests and they all come back saying that I'm allergic to mold (just about all types) and the last test also added Chestnut Trees. My question to the allergist each time after the test results have come back has been, "Please tell my why it is then, that as soon as ANYTHING in the world turns green my sinuses act up?" Most of the time the answer is that "a person can be sensitive to things without actually being allergic to them."
"Ok Dr. Frank Burns, what is the treatment for being sensitive to something?"
"It's essentially the same treatment we would give you if you were allergic to it."
*** Please excuse me while I beat my head into the table for a moment. ***
"Fine Dr. then how would you treat an 'allergy' to green, growing things?"
"I'll give you a prescription of Singulair and a new nasal aerosol called Qnsl. Those should handle things for you."
Let me tell you, just for the record, I am currently taking: Singulair, Qnsl, Benedryl, Chlortrimeton, NiteQuel, Robitussion, and semi-regularly using a neti-pot. I will swap out the Chlortrimeton for Zyrtec about every 6 months because it seems like around that time my body gets used to whichever one I'm taking and it no longer works. I also get a prescription of old fashioned Sudafed every spring unless I want to be completely non-functional.
You'd think that with me taking that mini pharmacy that my sinuses would be bone dry. Nope! I still have a chronic condition that I have termed "wet nose." Wet nose is when your sinuses produce just enough mucus to keep the inside of your nose wet enough that you feel like you have to blow it (and NOTHING ever comes out) while simultaneously maintaining a very fine trickle down your throat so that you have a low level tuberculosis cough that only by keeping a cough drop in your mouth 24hrs a day will it stop. Seriously, I sleep with cough drops in my mouth or I don't sleep for the constant coughing.
Now I hear you asking, "Why is this post titled 'Fucking Headaches' if your are talking about your sinuses?"
The answer, Dear Reader, is because for the past 10 days I have had the most ridiculous sinus headache I have ever had or heard of. It's not a migraine because there are no associated migraine symptoms.
It has refused to remain in one location on my head. It goes from encompassing my entire head to resting in my sinus region to feeling like I've been hit in the back of the head with a baseball bat, as well as many other manifestations. (Right now it is bulging over my right eye.)
Along with its migrating quality it also wants to change in severity and type of pain. It'll throb, spike like I've just been stabbed with an ice pick, thump and burn like I've been hit with a dull object, just be a steadily increasing pressure (my eyebrow right now), pinch, flicker in and out rapidly, disappear for a few hours, and hold steady for a few more hours.
Oh yeah, and I'm CRAVING salt!
I have taken Tylenol, Aspirin, Ibuprofen, a muscle relaxer, and a hydrocodone. The headache just laughs and taunts me with, "Is that all you got?"
It's like the headache is a psychotic, malevolent, living thing that is bent on destroying my life. I have been sequestering myself in my bedroom this entire time, very rarely coming out to socialize or participate in any of the household tasks that I usually do. I take my dog out when she needs to go, come out once or twice to get more to drink or get something to eat and then dive back into my sanctuary. On the few occasions when the headache disappeared for a little while I have gone out and sat with my roommate (B) and his father.
As I get older, I'm 48 - gasp, I find that my sinuses are acting up more and more and the headaches are coming more frequently and lasting longer. Although, this one has been the longest and weirdest one yet. If this trend continues I expect to have "Wet Nose" 365 days a year followed by a constant headache 24/7/365 by the time I'm 55-60. Yay, something to look forward to. Kill me NOW!
I have friends who have migraines. I feel bad for them, I really do. But for most of them it's a one every month or two kind of thing. AND, medical science has come up with prophylactics and treatments for most types of migraines. (I do have one friend who is a severe migraine sufferer who has actually been hospitalized long term for hers and has participated in numerous drug and treatment trials to little or no avail. My heart goes out to her and I have no idea how she continues to have the strength to keep going.)
But this is different. This is a sinus headache. I'm already taking just about every sinus medication that I can take without overdosing? my body. I've already taken every pain medication I have available, even one that I'm allergic to. I've researched if it could be a migraine because if it is then I can go to my Dr. and ask for migraine medication. I've Googled brain tumors to see if there's anything out there that sounds like my symptoms. Nothing. It's a sinus headache.
I have often asked my Dr.s if I can have a sinusectomy. (I dunno if there is such a word but it sounds like one.) All of them say no, that sinuses are what keeps your head from falling over. (Apparently they act as balloons that raise the front of your head up so it can balance on your neck. ????) At this point all I can see them being is a snot factory.
Look, I'll wear a neck brace for the rest of my life. They can fuse my spine and my skull together. I'll braid a string with a weight on the end of it into the hair on the back of my head. I NEED some relief.
I'm ready to perform some sort of satanic ritual to get this thing under control. Do you think healthy sinuses are worth a human soul? How many babies would I have to sacrifice? Or maybe goats?
Are there any "Grandma's Home Remedies" out there that you absolutely know will work? Any ancient Chinese medicine that I can access here in rural Kentucky, USA? (I don't think they sell tiger bladders or peacock testicles at my local IGA.) I'm really ready for this to end.
So yeah, Fucking Headaches!
P.S. I'll let you know in the comments if/when it goes away and if there was a specific treatment/medication that made it happen.
It has refused to remain in one location on my head. It goes from encompassing my entire head to resting in my sinus region to feeling like I've been hit in the back of the head with a baseball bat, as well as many other manifestations. (Right now it is bulging over my right eye.)
Along with its migrating quality it also wants to change in severity and type of pain. It'll throb, spike like I've just been stabbed with an ice pick, thump and burn like I've been hit with a dull object, just be a steadily increasing pressure (my eyebrow right now), pinch, flicker in and out rapidly, disappear for a few hours, and hold steady for a few more hours.
Oh yeah, and I'm CRAVING salt!
I have taken Tylenol, Aspirin, Ibuprofen, a muscle relaxer, and a hydrocodone. The headache just laughs and taunts me with, "Is that all you got?"
It's like the headache is a psychotic, malevolent, living thing that is bent on destroying my life. I have been sequestering myself in my bedroom this entire time, very rarely coming out to socialize or participate in any of the household tasks that I usually do. I take my dog out when she needs to go, come out once or twice to get more to drink or get something to eat and then dive back into my sanctuary. On the few occasions when the headache disappeared for a little while I have gone out and sat with my roommate (B) and his father.
As I get older, I'm 48 - gasp, I find that my sinuses are acting up more and more and the headaches are coming more frequently and lasting longer. Although, this one has been the longest and weirdest one yet. If this trend continues I expect to have "Wet Nose" 365 days a year followed by a constant headache 24/7/365 by the time I'm 55-60. Yay, something to look forward to. Kill me NOW!
I have friends who have migraines. I feel bad for them, I really do. But for most of them it's a one every month or two kind of thing. AND, medical science has come up with prophylactics and treatments for most types of migraines. (I do have one friend who is a severe migraine sufferer who has actually been hospitalized long term for hers and has participated in numerous drug and treatment trials to little or no avail. My heart goes out to her and I have no idea how she continues to have the strength to keep going.)
But this is different. This is a sinus headache. I'm already taking just about every sinus medication that I can take without overdosing? my body. I've already taken every pain medication I have available, even one that I'm allergic to. I've researched if it could be a migraine because if it is then I can go to my Dr. and ask for migraine medication. I've Googled brain tumors to see if there's anything out there that sounds like my symptoms. Nothing. It's a sinus headache.
I have often asked my Dr.s if I can have a sinusectomy. (I dunno if there is such a word but it sounds like one.) All of them say no, that sinuses are what keeps your head from falling over. (Apparently they act as balloons that raise the front of your head up so it can balance on your neck. ????) At this point all I can see them being is a snot factory.
Look, I'll wear a neck brace for the rest of my life. They can fuse my spine and my skull together. I'll braid a string with a weight on the end of it into the hair on the back of my head. I NEED some relief.
I'm ready to perform some sort of satanic ritual to get this thing under control. Do you think healthy sinuses are worth a human soul? How many babies would I have to sacrifice? Or maybe goats?
Are there any "Grandma's Home Remedies" out there that you absolutely know will work? Any ancient Chinese medicine that I can access here in rural Kentucky, USA? (I don't think they sell tiger bladders or peacock testicles at my local IGA.) I'm really ready for this to end.
So yeah, Fucking Headaches!
P.S. I'll let you know in the comments if/when it goes away and if there was a specific treatment/medication that made it happen.
The headache stopped at 1:15am on Thursday, July 26. I went to the Dr. on Wednesday where she prescribed Imitrex for the headache. I picked up the medicine on Thursday in the early afternoon. Took a dose. Fell asleep. And when I woke up the headache was gone, thank God!
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